Quarter Monty

Title: The Man With Three Buttocks From: Monty Python's Flying Circus Eric Idle: And now for something completely different. A man with three buttocks! Host (John Cleese): I have with me Mr Arthur Frampton who... (pause) Mr. Frampton, I understand that you - um - as it were... (pause) Well let me put it another way. Erm, I believe that whereas most people have - er - two... Two. Frampton (Michael Palin): Oh, sure. Host: Ah well, er, Mr Frampton. Erm, is that chair comfortable? Frampton: Fine, yeah, fine. Host: Mr Frampton, er, vis a vis your... (pause) rump. Frampton: I beg your pardon? Host: Your rump. Frampton: What? Host: Er, your derriere. (Whispers) Posterior. Sit-upon. Frampton: What's that? Host (whispers): Your buttocks. Frampton: Oh, me bum! Host (hurriedly): Sshhh! Well now, I understand that you, Mr Frampton, have a... (pause) 50% bonus in the region of what you say. Frampton: I got three cheeks. Host: Yes, yes, excellent, excellent. Well we were wondering, Mr Frampton, if you could see your way clear to giving us a quick... (pause) a quick visual... (long pause). Mr Frampton, would you take your trousers down. Frampton: What? (to cameramen) 'Ere, get that away! I'm not taking me trousers down on television. What do you think I am? Host: Please take them down. Frampton: No! Host: No, er look, er Mr Frampton. It's quite easy for somebody just to come along here claiming... that they have a bit to spare in the botty department. The point is, our viewers need proof.